“Strong enough for a man but made for a chihuahua.” As I wandered through the local PetCo, the display for “Chienel #5” dog cologne stopped me in my tracks. Every few months, I comb the aisles of the pet mega-mart, looking for new products and dog foods that could be potential sponsors for my Iditarod team. At $7.49 for a 2 fl. oz. spray, I couldn’t believe that the 16-count display only had 3 bottles left. I imagine there are several disgruntled canines in Great Falls, reeking of not-so-cheap cologne.
I’m not the only one noticing that there are some weird ideas brewing in the marketing world, attempting to attract pets, or I guess I should say, their owners. According to Euromonitor International, the creation of many bizarre pet products and services like designer colognes, bath wipes, aromatherapy candles, holiday pet costumes, “Bowlingual” electronic dog translators, shareable treats for both human and pet consumption, and “dog bakeries” is the direct result of pet owners applying “human patterns and human aesthetic standards to their dogs and cats.”
After my July 10, 2003 column about “raising sled dogs in the outdoors,” a “Montana Alum” now living in Minneapolis, Minnesota, emailed me his thoughts. “Dogs have the same feelings and characteristics as humans and can never feel the same kind of bond and love when they live outdoors,” he explained.
Maybe the “Montana Alum” doesn’t want to live under the stars and the big sky, but I can guarantee that dogs that are raised in the outdoors and have proper food, water, shelter, love, and exercise live happy dog lives.
I understand that it is easy for us as humans to project our desires and values onto our pets. I have to admit that I have been eyeing a fisherman knit doggie sweater for my terrier, Jigs, for quite some time. But even though the thought of that silly turtleneck sweater on Jigs makes me smile, there is a fine line between loving our pets and making them be something they are not. Jigs is a dog. He is not human. And unless he is freezing his cute little fanny off as my mascot on the way up to Iditarod next winter, I won’t make him wear something he has no desire to wear.
In America, consumers often try to express their love through shopping, yet animals don’t quite get it. All dogs, even if they have the latest chew toy, dietary supplements, or therapeutic dog bed, are still driven by animal instinct. They still want to run, hunt, herd, swim, eat poop, and roll in road kill no matter how many squeaky toys are scattered on the living room floor.
Although “Chienel #5” is described as “sporty,” I have heard of canine athletes lifting their legs to the smelly issue of perfume. Dog mushers, including myself, often buy 50 gallon metal or plastic barrels and cut the tops off, laying them on their sides to be used as inexpensive, sturdy, and warm dog houses. This summer I replaced 20 old rusty metal barrels with white plastic barrels purchased at the local drive-thru car wash. The soaps for brush-less car washes come in these containers and after washing and rinsing them many times over a period of several days, they are safe for the sled dogs to set up house.
A musher from Maine once told me that he acquired his “dog houses” from a perfume distributor on the east coast.
“For months, the dogs went crazy over those barrels,” he explained. “They wouldn’t stop peeing on them. I gave them their new houses one night and the next morning, when I came out, a bunch of them had pooped right on top of their barrels. They didn’t want to smell like that fancy perfume and I don’t blame them.”
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